3rd Party Jerseys

We get it. You like football, you have your own team, and you want to say here and now that you’re not from this area and you’re reppin some other (insignificant) state. There is no need to wear your jersey to every football event when your team isn’t even playing. (FedEx field is where the Redskins play FYI…not the Nats, not the Capitals). You have 2 options of jerseys/sports paraphernalia on game day: Skins gear, and whoever else is on the field. Don’t go getting creative and start wearing a Ravens jersey just because we’re in the vicinity.

What you really look like.

Maybe people do it for attention, maybe they do it cuz they ignant. No one really knows, they’re just pretty glad they’re not friends with THAT DUDE.

The only thing worse than a third party jersey is a pink one.

~J.

Texting.

Texting while in the company of another is loooow class. Nothing says “you could not matter any less to me right now” than pulling out your phone, checking it at the table, then LEAVING it on the table for the duration of the evening. You are not impressing her with how many friends you have. What you’re doing is slowly creeping into the dudebro category with every text sent. I don’t even need to see you to know who you are. Brown flip-flops with jeans, some Ed Hardy type a shirt (oh excuse me, a polo with a wrinkled collar for this special occasion), taking your girl out to dinner since you’re sick of hearing her complain that all you do is play video games. Well, the unfortunate reality is, you’ve forgotten how to be cordial and carry on a conversation with the lady in front of you. Thank goodness for your iPhone! When you run out of people to text, you can just pull up some lame game or YouTube clip and joke about that rather than have a real thought and discuss it with her.

Look. If you must take a call, excuse yourself from the table and take the call out of earshot…I get it, you’re a busy man!

**The following is an actual picture, taken at none other than Clarendon Grill...is it that serious?

~J